We don't always know

what is best for us.

My brother was on stand by for a flight home for almost a full day. My hopes rose and were subsequently dashed each time he called to say he didn't make the next flight. I was very anxious and frustrated. I'm sure he was very anxious and frustrated too, but you would never be able to tell. He is cool as a cucumber. I was so certain he would make the 11:00 flight. He didn't. Thank goodness. That 11:00 flight didn't make it to Tulsa until 8:45. It went back and forth to Dallas--twice.

Jonathan made it on the 4:15 flight. He got to sit in first class. He got to Tulsa in 36 minutes.

All I want for Christmas...

is for my brother to make the early flight tomorrow. He's already had a long day at airports and is getting ready to "sleep" in one tonight.

Oh...and I also need my sister and her boyfriend to make it here without complications.

White Christmases are overrated.

Selfish

I am struggling with a friendship that has been very important to me over the past few years. I am starting to feel that the friendship isn't really as deep as I thought it was. And the process of figuring that out has been p-a-i-n-f-u-l. I have gotten my feelings hurt. I've felt ignored and unimportant.

But I also feel selfish. I wonder if I'm only seeing one side of things. I wonder if I need to show more grace to this friend. I wonder a lot of things.

It's beginning to sound a lot like Christmas

I love Christmas music. It makes me happy.

My earliest memories of Christmas music are the Glee club concerts in Chambersburg. I know that I went at least two years in a row but maybe more often than that. My favorite song was "Nothing for Christmas". Other favorites from my childhood were "Jingle Bell Rock" and "Do You Hear What I Hear"

Happy Birthday Sheridan

My sister Sheridan had a security blanket when we were little. Blankie was never very far away. I never had a blankie. I didn't need one. Sheridan was my security blanket. She was only 16 months old when I was born, so she has been just a little bit ahead of me on pretty much everything. That might have been frustrating at times but overall it was an ideal situation for me. Sheridan paved the way at school. She was smart and did really well on everything so teachers assumed that I would be the same way. Sheridan paved the way with friends, church, our parents, you name it. She let me tag along with her age group at camp and on vacation so I wouldn't have to be alone.

One of my favorite times was visiting Sheridan at college her freshman year. She tried to explain e-mail to me. And we took a train to Chicago for the day. As we were rushing to get the last train back to her college that night, some sailors asked us for directions. I stopped to try to explain that I didn't know where we were either but Sheridan pulled on my arm to keep me moving. "They don't really want directions," she said.

I always have fun with my sister. From performing musical numbers in the sprinkers to pretending to be Apple Blossom royalty to hanging out in Denver and a million other things in between.

I know exactly how lucky I am to be Sheridan's sister.

Easier said than done

Being happy for others
especially when they have the life you want (or think you want)
is easier said than done
especially when they don't seem to be enjoying it as much as you would (or think you would)

Happy Birthday Yolanda K.

I always wanted a best friend. I have always had friends--close friends even--but it wasn't until college that I met my best friend. It took a couple of years to get to add the "best" part but Yolanda and I became friends our freshman year in college. We bonded over crazy roommates and ER. And she helped pull me out of a deep, dark hole when my world crashed down junior year. Even though we haven't lived in the same city in over a decade, Yolanda K. is still my most trusted and dependable friend. She really sees me. That can be a little bit scary because I work pretty hard to hide some things. But it can also be pretty great because her insight helps me see myself a bit more clearly. I cannot imagine who I would be without her.

(If we were in 6th grade, I would totally get her one of those necklaces that say "best friends"--I have always wanted one of those)

Fall Break

3 glorious days off work!

Yesterday I had a pajama day. It was like a snow day without the snow. (snow days are my favorite thing...as long as the power stays on)

I did shower and get dressed today. Only because I really needed a peppermint mocha. Now I'm back home, back in the pajamas.

Happy Birthday Gregg!

I love my brother. (and of course I love my other brother and both of my sisters but it's not any of their birthdays today)

My brother Gregg was born when I was almost two and a half. One of my earliest memories was picking out a stuffed toy to bring to the hospital for Gregg. My dad took Sheridan and I to a store to pick something to give our new brother. I remember him trying to talk us out of the Oscar the Grouch we chose. He couldn't convince us that a teddy bear would be better.

Gregg loved his Oscar the Grouch but it didn't match his personality at all. It still doesn't. My brother Gregg is funny, giving, charming, and way beyond smart. Maybe that teddy bear would have been a better choice after all...

New normal

After that, things got back to normal. And normal isn't always easy.

I saw this line in the book I've been trying to finish since July. I couldn't say it any better. Things are trying to get back to normal. And normal isn't always easy.

Kid Quotes

Zach and Hannah let me come over and play on the wii they got for Christmas (2007). Zach tried to teach me bowling, tennis, and boxing. I don't think he was super impressed with my performance. He and Hannah played wii baseball for a few minutes to give me a break. Then Zach turned to me and said, "Hey, can I beat you--I mean play you--at baseball now?"

Mr. Zach

24 hours ago I was nervous about presenting in a professional development meeting for the teachers I work with.

Then the phone rang.

I would have given anything to have been nervous about presenting in a professional development meeting for the teachers I work with this morning.

Instead, we had a crisis intervention meeting. My friend Christina was in a car accident with her two children. Zach is with Jesus now.

Train Wreck

I have been watching The Secret Life of the American Teen all afternoon. Gotta love labor day marathons. The show is pretty much terrible. Terrible acting, terrible story lines, terrible message for the real American teenager. I am completely hooked.

Public Speaking

is not for me.